Hummingbird

Home bound.

I know the truth.

You've told me I'm the most important person to you. I believe every single word you say. Now that I think of it, how do I know you haven't said that to anyone else? Most important means there can only be one. Do I matter most to you? Or someone else have already taken that place? I just wish you could tell me in my face that "No one has taken your place. And you're still the most important person who matter the most to me." Don't tell me what is not true. Please. It hurts me. 

I CAN'T TAKE IT

I did not give up. I'm just starting over.

Passion Versus Logic.

There's so many things that we all want to do, but is it logically to just leap before we look both ways? I guess we'll never know till we take the leap. 

We accept the love we think we deserve.

I'm a work-in-progress. My habits, my mindsets, all need a new lease of life. 

On Letting Go.

I'm plunging into an abyss. No one can save but you. Even you are far too preoccupied with your own heart and its wants and needs that I would never be able to provide for enough. So I await my impending implosion. Everyday, I tell myself "This is as much as I can take." but I keep taking it and keep telling myself that. Eventually I would really go stalking mad. I feel I'm halfway there already.

And yes, I am needy, and I need only you.

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.

I've just finished reading a book that has become my favourite, surpassing Catcher In The Rye. The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chobsky. You have to read it. It makes you feel "Infinite."

Life.

Ever felt like your life was going to crash but it just would never crash?

Oh Diana.

I feel that I'm getting better with my Diana F+ skills. :D The Hong Kong photos came out pretty well, although there wasn't much photos. 

I want this Hello Kitty Diana Mini!!!! If only this came out before I bought the 35mm film back for my Diana F+...

Should I still get it though? It is too cute to resist. $143 bucks....

My start-of-the-week resolution.

My resolution for this week would be to come to school everyday. A feat that I've yet to achieve since school started.

PRE-BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

My weekend has been very AWESOME I must say! :D  Thanks to Jude and Jeremy for making the best 3-person party ever!

First off, we wanted to go to Gardens to eat at Thai Express. Little did we know that place was closed! ): Under renovation/ Closed down.

So Jude and I went to find somewhere else to eat. And we decided to eat at Borsch Russian restaurant. I was like saying "Let's try something different... " BAD SERVICE IS NOT DIFFERENT. Other than that, I enjoyed the company so I guess they cancelled each other out. Jude and I were there first. Then Jude received a call from Jeremy, and went to pick him up...... Then, TA-DAH! Jeremy appears with a guitar bag on his back! AND THAT'S MY GIFT! OMFG!!! It was a nice glossy-polished classical guitar. :D One more friend for me! Thank you guys sooo sooo much!

After that, we went down to Devils and Angels to have a little fun. Well, at least what I can remember. After the Flaming Lambourgine, I can't remember anything much. Everything was very hazy. I can remember squinting my eyes to try to focus on the words Jim Beam on the bottle. Hahaha! And then I magically got home. No idea how that happened. All I can remember is opening my house door.

Well that was the magical Pre-Birthday party. I enjoyed myself TOO MUCH. But no harm done I guess? :D

Thank you Jude and Jeremy, once again, for making this a blast!

Under the Milky Way tonight.

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty
Sound of their breath fades with the light
I think about the loveless fascination
Under the Milky Way tonight

Lower the curtain down on Memphis
Lower the curtain down all right
I got no time for private consultation
Under the Milky Way tonight

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

And it's something quite peculiar
Something shimmering and white
Leads you here despite your destination
Under the Milky Way tonight

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find

Under the Milky way tonight...
Under the Milky Way tonight... 

Repeat.

Today was an extremely hectic school day for me... Sigh... Engineering mathematics make-up test right after school. Then it's off to the digital fundamentals tuition by graduate programme. And now I have to go back into the cold cold lab for my digital fundamental lab test.

I'm not young anymore man. Haha! I'm feeling tired just by running around the school.

Let's just hope the weekend would be better.

PINK SHEEP.

Guess what my aunt from Hong Kong gave me? 

A PINK FLUFFY FAT SHEEP STUFF ANIMAL! 

How old does she think I am, 5? Hahaha! 

Really cute though and I LOOOVE it. It has this really nice smell to it too. 

Doodles

I just ended school. Waiting for drama... And that is freaking 4 hours away...

Well I'm gonna try studying for math, right after my doodle bug gets bored with doodling.

Repo Men.

Repo Men was pretty good. I won't say awesome but good. Lots of blood and weird awkward scenes (if you know what I'm talking about.) Imagine this, you are cutting yourself up and making out with your lover??? Is that like some kind of new weird-ass fetish that I haven't heard about? Hahaha! Overall, I would say the story has a unexpected ending. Well at least for me. The guys behind me had really funny reactions to the bloody scenes. They were like "KNNCB!" Noobs. Never watch gory stuff before. It's not the goriest movie I've watched.

Jude Law is seriously balding...

I'm heading of to bed. Ciao.

If you be my star,

I'll be your sky.

You can hide underneath me

and come out at night.

Frolicking.

I had two cups of Frolick today... Hahaha! I should not have but I guess it's a little "reward" for feeling a little better? :D Off to watch Repo Man with Jude and Jeremy, then back home to rest. I have not slept a wink since yesterday morning. Till next time...

Let me just leave you guys drooling over my favourite model of all time for now.

I miss the days when we just hug and you'll say I made your day.

I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.

Oh why can't I be what you need?
A new improved version of me
But I'm nothing so good
No, I'm nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
Of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
Where you hold me down, fold me in
Deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins

I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't

Here I'm pinned between darkness and light
Bleached and blinded by these nights
Where I'm tossing and tortured 'til dawn
By you, visions of you then you're gone.
The shock bleeds the red from my face
When I hear someone's taken my place.
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
When all, all that I did was for you

Now you see me
Now you don't
Now you need me
Now you don't

BMTH.

Time for a little Bring Me The Horizon eye candies fresh from the Alternative Press site. ♥

We will never sleep, 'cause sleep is for the weak
And we will never rest, 'til we're all fucking dead.

EAR.

I've got an ear infection. FML.

Freddie Loves Effy. ♥

I can't help but to hurt, like you can't help but to love. How long more can I withstand this pain? Only time will tell and I sure hope long enough for you to come back to me. I know exactly how it feels when you love someone, but they don't love you back the same way you love them. What can we do? We just have to deal with it, and make the best out of the situation. If it doesn't work out, move on. I know it's easier said than done. If it takes for me to let you go for you to catch your dreams, the pleasure would me mine, to step aside for you to be truly happy with the one you truly love. It'll be the hardest thing I'll have to do, and trust me, I would hate to ever be in that situation, and I do pray to the Lord I'd never have to do that. I am selfish and I want you all to myself, but neither do I want you to suffocate and be unhappy.

This is what I truly feel and I can't hide it no more. I am still only human, just like you are, and we do go through a lot of the same things, more than you'll ever know. 

I don't blame you, for being you.

♥?

LOVE ME, 
THAT'S ALL I ASK OF YOU. 

So long, Astoria.

This blog has been dead for months. In hope to revive it, I'm gonna start writing again. A lot of things happened the past few months or past many months. I have withdrawn myself from NAFA and for that I had to pay a freaking hell lotta money. On a brighter note, I'm getting baptised this Easter! I have started on my strict diet of one meal a day, NO FRIED FOOD, ONLY WATER. I guess it's working? Hopefully.
Benny (Jude's Yorkie) just went through surgery. All went well and he's back home resting.

Basically, that was the main things that happened so far. Others, I fail to recall.

I randomly miss my friends. All of them. Every single one.

I Don't Mind If You Don't Mind. I Don't Shine If You Don't Shine.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fucking stressed.