We Weren't Born For This.

My brother just got caught smoking outside his school today.

My mum doesn't want to live because her heart breaks when she sees my brother like that.

My brother doesn't like coming home.

My dad wants to give up and leave this family because he's tired from doing his best to teach my brother well.

Seems like someone is forgotten. Someone is left in the dark. Someone is not worth living for. Someone is not worth staying together for.

That someone is me.

I've been good.

Mummy doesn't see it.

I've been good.

Daddy doesn't see it.

I do a good job.

No thumbs up of any sort.

My brother does bad.

They bribe him with a brand new PSP.


I've learnt to live for myself.

I don't care if anyone will support me,

For I have learnt to depend on me.

Music: Born For This by Paramore

SNAPPY SNAPPY NAPPY.

Great. My guitar B string snapped. Just when I wanna learn a new song, it had to snap. My brother must have tweaked it though. My guitar wasn't where I last left it. So I drew on my wardrobe door with my washable neon coloured marker, stating that I need new strings to remind me to get them soon. And a Capo too.

Anyways, I had fun today shopping with Michelle and Jessheel! Yea. We went to the Flea-tique Flea Market held at Singapore Arts Museum. It was a really really hot day. My shirt was soaked through with perspiration. I had almost no cash so I went to get more molah from my mummy. She was around the area so it was like really convinient. HAHAH! I bought a cap and a shirt from the flea. Jes, Michelle and I all got backpacks form Pennin! (: HAHAHA!

I'm damn tired.

Music: Don't Hate Me by Rufio.

Dear Diary, My Teenage Angst Has A Body Count.

Hey. I hate school. I hate school because I'm not good in any subjects that are like tested. I hate school because there are cliques that hate us (jes, HT, Dapohneh, me.) I hate school because I'm doing something I hate. Yea. I walked out of accounting tutorial today. Yea. That old fart was pissing me off! If i stayed on, I will have challenged him, which will get me into more trouble. So I went out and chilled for a while, then went back in. Yea. Anyways, when I went back in, Yvonne threw me a glance like I was a really dirty puppy with rabies. Yea. Whatever. I just sat down and drew a picture of the ASSHOLE. Like making fun of him. It really made me feel better.

I really want to go to design school. At least no stupid memorising shitz.

Music: Crimson by Therefore I Am.

Wishing I Would Be Somewhere Lost With You.

HEY PEOPLE! I went to watch Get Smart with my school friends today! HAHAHA! Get Smart was like HILARIOUS! HAHAHA! Yea. Anyways, after that, I went to my Secondary school's play! (: They were AWESOME!!! Man.... I miss being in drama. Yea. Jude and Jeremy went for it too! (: I hope they enjoyed it! Yep. After that, Jeremy had to leave because he was gonna give Rey a birthday party thingy. Yep. So Jude and I just walked around Compass. HAHAHA! We had Lobster Bisque for $1.10!!! HAHAHA! Because I had some $10 Compass Point Voucher. Yep. It was nice hanging out with him. (: I LOVE HIM!!!! We were like talking about how would it be like in the future, how will it be like if we got married... Yea. You know. HAHAHA!

Music: Baby Bleu by Danny Malone.

SCHOOL SIA!

Back to school. The holidays were so freaking short. Jude and Jeremy still have like 2 more weeks of holidays la! Tell me how unfair that is? Damn.... Yea. It was way too short to be called a holiday man. Damn. Anyways, my aunt is in Singapore for like one day with her friend so my mum like offered to let them stay at our place. So my brother and I are sharing the room with my parents for a night. HAHAHA! Macham like small kids like that.

Anyways, it was really nice to hang out with my friends in school again! (: And thank God that CSA shit is over.  

Speaking of God, I'm joining Our Lady Of Nativity Church for RCIA. Yea. It's gonna be quite interesting I think.

There's like a drama production, A Midsummer's Night Dream, in SJC this friday. I just found out about it. I've been quite distant from my Secondary School friends. Kinda feels like I never went through Secondary school. Everyone else still keep in touch. I lost everyone's number and I've been disconnected from them. Well at least I'm gonna meet a few of them at Fort Canning this Saturday. (: I miss hanging out with all of them. I miss hanging out with PEA. I can't believe we fell out just because of WOW and my brother.

Well I really wanna go for the play. I guess if I can't find my old friends to go with me, I can just ask my NEW friends! (:

Music: Bleeding Mascara by Atreyu.

POST DELETED.

EVERYONE BE HAPPY.

Sneaky Sneaky In My Roomy!


















SuperKids© 3 Photos!

Hey guys! It was last day of camp two days ago! Camp was really fun. I love my participants! (: ALL-STARZ! YAE! We got third place! (: Really good kids, they are. (: 

Anyways, Jude and Jeremy sneaked into my place today! Like just now! They just left because my mum's like gonna wake up at 4... So ya. SO COOL RIGHT?! I've never sneaked someone into my house before man! Now I know how to sneak someone in. We ordered Macs and ate. Jude saw my room. AHAHAH! I wanted to hide my head under the pillows because my room was so damn messy! Ya. He was being so gracious by saying that my room was really chilled out and cool. Yea. HAHA! Well he saw that Leonardo DiCaprio photo (don't ask.) I have on one of my shelves. HAHAHA! Yea. It was really cool. I wished that he could stay the night though. HAHA!

Music: Nine In The Afternoon by Panic At The Disco. (Without the !)

If I Had A Little Money, In A Rich Man's World.

I Lost Cash.

The best part is I don't know how much.

All I know was that I withdrew 30 bucks, used about 10 bucks from it. I claimed my cab fare, that sumed up to about 30 bucks.

So I could have lose about 50 bucks man.

I can't remember anything.

I'm such a dickhead.

Man....

Anyways, it's day 2.

Music: Elevator by Flo. Rida feat. Timberland.

SUPERKIDS!

1st day of Superkids Camp 3!!! Yea. I'm really shagged because I've been coughing a lot. So yea. I'll just upload pictures yea? (:

Music: Emergency by Paramore.

We Need To Talk.

I've been reading it over and over again. The world isn't about me so I'm not sure. I'm not sure if it's me you're refering to. If it was refering to me, I'm sorry for making you think twice and make your life a lot harder. Other than that, if it was about me, I feel hurt for that's what you think of us, of me, of what could have been or should have been.

I Stare Into Oblivion

What's wrong now? I can never seem to do things right.

On a lighter note, I finally know what my crushe's name is. Can you believe that I didn't know his name for like the past 6 YEARS?! HAHAHA! David..... Ahhhhh.... If I die right now, I'll die in peace. HAHAHAHA!

I'm going off for camp for 5 days. Yep. I'm gonna miss all you guys out there. Yea. (:

Have a smashing rest of the week.

P.S. It's just a crush. I still love my Judey Boy!

Music: Water's Edge by 1997.

Picture Perfect Hearts.

Just came back from Punggol End. Went there to take pictures for Jesheel's and her friend, Rachel's portfolio. The lang lang shots were like the best la... HAHAHA! Yea. There was this part of the wall that was further into Punggol End. It had hearts on the wall. It was really nice. Yep. The sun was really really hot. It was like burning my ass! HAHAHA!

Punggol End is a really awesome place. I never want it to change. I wonder how it would be like after they revamp the whole place. I bet there's gonna be a whole lot more people. It wouldn't be as serene anymore.

I wish I could take photos for a living. I absolutely love taking pictures. I have to go back to Punggol End with my Polaroid. (:

I wish I could do this everyday so that I can escape from the noise and war at home. It's something that I can do for hours.

Thank you Jessheel for trusting my photography skills!!! HAHAA! I'm not very good yet but I'm sure I'm improving! (:

Music: Dear Prudence by The Beatles.

The Aftermath.

My eyes are puffy.

My knuckles throb.

My wrists hurt.

My heart aches.

Music: Signal Fire by Snow Patrol.

This Sky Will Make Me Sick.

Okay. Just came back from town. Parents making a HUGE HOOOO-HAAA about me getting back late. DUDE. I TOOK THE FRIGGEN BUS! CUT ME SOME SLACK! I'm gonna be 17 already. Are they gonna keep a short leach on me even when I'm 18?

Now both myself and my parents think I'M the problem on two different subjects.

My parents think that because I'M the oldest child in the family, I have to take responsibility for how my brother turns out. JUST BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUCKING ROLE-MODEL! When the fuck can I lead my own life? When the fuck can I be able to freely do whatever I want? When the fuck can I live with nobody else's burden on my shoulders? So I would have to stay home for my brother's sake? come back home for my brother's sake? Clean up my act for my brother's sake? I am NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG! Ya. I resent to my fate. I AM THE PROBLEM. 

Sometimes when things go wrong or when I get shoved aside, the first thing I would think to myself is  "I think it's me. I'm the problem." I always think that everyone else is right and I'm the problem. Smite me to the ground people, because I would just take it anyway. I'm too tire to even try. I'll die trying.

I feel like just diverting the pain away just for a second. Just for that spilt second, I wanted to feel something else, but even that was taken away from me. Is it too much to ask for? Just a little bit of love?

Music: History by Funeral For A Friend.

Hey guys.... I'm really bored. Yep. Anyways, today I went to school for the Visual Central Photography workshop. (: I was really excited but I got there like 20 minutes late. When I got there, there were only 3 people there. I was like thinking "Okay... This is pathetic... " And I thought everyone else was late too. NO... It was only the four of us... I thought it was going to suck. But it was quite fun in the end. They gave us themes for photographs after teaching us the basics. Yep. I like my cat shot. (: 

After we ended, went down to Pasir Ris for Meng Xiong's 21st BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! HAHAHA! I can't believe that he's already 21!!!! Yea. Vanessa and I got him a BALLOON BOUQUET! Yep. I swear his nieces and nephews are freaking cute!!!! HAHAHA! They are so darn adorable!!!!!!

Yea. Now, I'm talking to Judey Boy on Skype. He's watching TV. Yea. Projected right onto his freaking blue wall. That boy can't multi-task. Whatever I say is not even going into his ear. Yea. HAHAHAHA!

Music: Blackbird by The Beatles.

POM POM FREAK.

FUCK BLOODY POM POM. Last day of tests tomorrow. POM. BLOODY POM. Can't wait for the holidays to start!!!!

Music: Tiger Lily by Matchbook Romance.

She's Got The Ticket To Ride.

Okay. I just found out that my MCR ticket stub is missing when I was looking through all the stubs I collected! WHAT THE FUCK! I NEED TO FIND IT!!!! Ass..... Why am I so fucking careless?! Well... At least I've got a photo to proof that I was there! Yep. Well I'm gonna go sleep now la.... Tired. Wait... I shall keep my The Click 5 stub first. Then go sleep. NIGHT!

Music: I Love You Angel by Boys Night Out.

I WANNA CATCH JOE'S WAVE!

THE CLICK 5 WAS AWESOME!

THANK YOU JUDEY BABY FOR COMING WITH ME!

Music: Angels or Devils by Dishwalla.