I don't mean  to be an insensitive bitch okay. I just happen seem to be like one because I don't know what is happening and yea. I get misunderstood a lot. It doesn't feel nice to be misunderstood almost all the time. My actions and words convey not the message I want to convey but the opposite. I guess I'll blame it on bad luck. Or maybe I AM an insensitive bitch. It's really not a nice feeling. Yea. 

Music: Tennis Court Soundtrack by Daphne Loves Derby.

I just came back from school a while ago... Yea. Bought my books already! Like finally man! HAHA! They are fucking thick and heavy man. Yea. School was kinda like a total bore. Yea. 

I miss Jude. BUT I JUST SAW HIM YESTERDAY! WTF. 

Yea. I guess it was because I was listening to Inevitable by Anberlin. It's a really nice song. I love the lyrics. It makes me cry. "I wanna be your last first kiss, that you'll ever have." and it ends with "I wanna be your last first kiss, for all time." 

Everyone has only one first kiss. Yea. 

Music: Inevitable by Anberlin.

Hmmm... I think I've got more flaws than good points. Yea. Here are my flaws:

1. I'm Stubborn. 
2. I act like I know it all.
3. I repeat myself too much.
4. I have to WIN a fight.
5. I think I'm right.
6. I'm the one who starts the fights in the first place.
7. My priorities are all wrong.
8. I'm too emotional.
9. I regurgitate every fact I know.
10. Sometimes the facts are wrong.
11. I jump to conclusions quite often.
12. I'm very emotional, have I said that?
13. I make a mountain out of a molehill.
14. I'm too much of a Drama Queen.
15. I feel easily left out.
16. I'm so annoying sometimes to the extent that I get annoyed with myself.
17. I wanna go for every gig that I want to go to.
18. I'm so lame, people never really laugh at my jokes. 
19. People misunderstand me a lot. (I guess that's not really my fault....)  
20. I'm always late.  

Yea. Now let's see what good I see in myself.:

1. Well at least I've got a Personality.
2. I guess I've got CDs for you to borrow. 
3. I've got a UNIQUE sense of style? (I GUESS?) 
4. I'm not UGLY?
5. I'm not SUPER DUPER FAT?
6. I empathize with people and their situations.

See what I mean? I haven't got proper GOOD POINTS for myself at all....

Well maybe I don't see them, or maybe I don't have any. I'm always the cause of some strain and conflict between my family, my friends, even my boyfriend. I should just shut up and do what they want me to do. I shan't talk back. I shan't fight. I shan't stand for my points. 

Music: I'm The Only Gay Eskimo by SNL Cast.

Just came back from town. Jude eventually reached Tampines Mall. He haven't eat so we went to Kopitiam for him to eat. Yea. Then we went to TOWN!!! It has been so long since I've been there man!!! Yea. Went there and got a notebook for Andrew dearest... HAHAHA! NOW YOU'VE GOTTA PICK ME UP FROM SCHOOL! HAHAHA! Yea. At Paper People, they were selling more than notebooks now. They're selling skateboards, clothes and the best of all.... VESTAL WATCHES!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I NEED TO GET IT!!!! 187 bucks is the cost of the Vestal watch I want if I remembered correctly. Yea. After I found out the price, I told the guy that I'll come back with more cash and Jude was like, "Did you just say that you'll come back with more money?" HAHA! He hasn't heard anyone said that to a salesperson before. HAHAHA! Yea. I'm weird. Yea. Oh ya, we ate at Subway before that. And according to Jude, there was a gay dude sitting behind me. Yea. HAHAH! After getting the notebook, we went to Image 2001. Yea. It's a must to enter that place whenever we're at Far East Plaza. Yea. I was ogling at the Macbeth shoes. One pair of Macbeth's isn't enough. HAHA! Yea. After that, we went over to Taka's Art Friend to get some Beige coloured pencils for my grandma. Yea. After that we headed for the MRT station. I swear, Jude makes me laugh like a mad woman. HAHA! I love that boy. He can be 3 hours late and forget dates and I'll still love him. Why? He's him. (: 

Music: Hard To Say by The Used. 

Okay. Right now I'm at Starbucks Tampines Mall waiting for Darling Jude to arrive. Yea. I BOUGHT A NEW CAP FROM SCHOOL!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY NEW CAP!!! It has the names of the Beatles's members. John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringgo Starr, George Harrison. YEA! It's one of a kind somemore.... HAHAHAH! I LOVE TP!

 

Yea. My ass is kinda stiff from the sitting already.... HAHAH! Hope he arrives soon. (: 

Music: Some relaxing music shit they're playing in Starbucks.

Okay. School was quite a bore. We were doing MicroEcons. WTF. And next year we're gonna do MacroEcon which is gonna be worse according to Julie! (: HAHA! Yea... We finished the lecture half an hour early though! Yep! Then Jes, Michelle, Wendy, Hafizah, Huiting, Darren and me went down to the Design block to grab ourselves some totally AWESOME FISH AND CHIPS MAN!!! It was only like $3.50 la!!!! Yea. Then we just talked and talked and laughed and talked. Yea. HAHAHAH! And I saw my primary school friends man!!! HAHAAH! Yea. Then Michelle had to leave for home because she's expecting guests. Then Simon came down, ordered a plate of FISH AND CHIPS as well and we just continued talking and talking man. HAHAH! I swear we really digress a whole lot man. We start of with one topic, and it transforms into a whole new topic man!!! WTH right? It's really fun though... (: Yea. And today Jude was the one to sms me first instead of the usual me smsing first... It was like WOAH! I wished he do that more often. I kinda miss him a whole lot. Anyways, I MADE MY EZ-LINK CARD TODAY! But I'm only getting it in 2 weeks time. Yea. Simon, Jes, Darren and I took a cab to Tampines Interchange to do that... HAHAH! Yea. It cost $3.80 so it was less than $1 each. HAHAH! Yea. After doing all that shit, Darren, Jes and I cabbed back... HAHAHAH! 

I have no idea why I feel that Jude's getting bored with me... I think it's the whole insecurity shit that's kicking in... I hope I feel wrongly. 

Music: Anarchy In The UK by Sex Pistols.

SHIT HAPPENS! EVERYTHING POOPS! 

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! 

YEA! Okay la... It was quite boring when it was learning time but the tutor was like really funny. He pronounced Henry's name as Harry. HAHA! So we taught him to pronounce it properly and he said "Why not make it short, I'll call you Hen." HAHAHAHA! Yea. And as he was speaking, he kinda like spat right onto Daphane's table. HAHAHAHAH! Yea. He couldn't pronounce Png too! HAHAHA! It was just hilarious I tell you... 

Music: Astro Zombies (cover) by My Chemical Romance.

Tomorrow's first day at school... Yippee.... I can't wait.... (Sense the hint of sacarsm?) 

Today was really fun man!!! It turned out really fun. I thought it would be some lame ass orientation like how orientations are, but I was wrong! Right now I'm like deadbeat, but I enjoyed myself la... Made new friends!!! Jas, Huiting, Xiang Yi, Simon, Daphne, Darren and the rest of 1B05!!!! Huiting and I went crazy towards the end of day one. HAHAH! Glee *done with spaz facial expression, spaz laughter, and hand sign.* HAHA! That Mary Moe song thingy is stuck in my head now la... DUH! We did the freaking Mass Dance like dunno how many times man! Met old friends too. Christine, Erny, Kathy from KCP!!! Met old SJC friends too! I'm so shagged... I think I'm gonna go bathe now and then go sleep.... I HEART MY CLASS! The people in my class are FAB! Well we need to get Alphonse to break out of his comfort zone. (:

Music: Translating The Name by Saosin.

I just came back from meeting Rubini and Fluffy! Yep. Went to eat at BK and starbucking after that. It's so nice to hang out with them man. I miss them so much! Hahaha! Yea. They were complaining about school. HANG ON GUYS! ONE MORE YEAR! Yea. They were doing some idiot tests on me. HAHA! My sex drive is 7 out of 10. I think of Jude as a Monkey. I think of myself as a Lion. I put in my full heart into a relationship. My heart is melted easily like plastic. I've got a smooth life. I've got 4 real friends in my lifetime. And I'm not a busy body. How do I know? From some test they tested me with. HAHAH! Yea. After Starbucking, went to Popular with Fluff to get her books. Thank God I'm pass the studying days for now. HAHA! After that, we headed home. I met Yew Leng near the bus stop. Then I found out she's in the same course as me!!!! HAHAHA! Then we made plans to meet up to go to school tomorrow for orientation. HAHAH! Yea. Then when I got home, I did another version of the Jude ambigram. Okay... It's not very good la but I like this one better than the one before. Yea. 

I'm not obsessed with his name or anything! I'm just practicing with his name. HAHA! Yea. I'm gonna go one practicing so TOOTLES! 

Music: We're Not Alone by Son Of Dork.

I've found a new hobby. AMBIGRAMS! I attempted to draw one today. 

It spells Jude. Upside down and right-side up. Yea. It's not very good yet but watch this space man... It's gonna be awesome! So AWESOME that you would want it tattooed on you! I've yet to try out the different fonts.

Went over to Jude's school today to hang out with him and Hamdani. (: They were my tour guides, giving me a tour around school and such... Ate some place. I forgot what it was called. It was like something something Haven la... After that, Jude and I went to IKEA! Hamdani had some more lessons. Ate MEATBALLS! Being not Vegan is so yummy... Then after whatever at IKEA, we wanted to go to the beach. But... It was gonna rain. And true enough, it started raining when we got on the bus. So when we reached Sengkang, it was still raining, so I went over to Jude's place. Yea. His mum made curry so we had some. (: It was kinda spicy. DUH! It's curry. 

Then we watched some youtube videos. Jude plopped on his bed and the rest was history. He fell asleep la. So half the time there was spent watching him sleep. I love watching him sleep. He seemed so innocent and peaceful. I'm a FREAK. I love that boy. I had to leave for home so I woke him, grabbed my stuff and he walked me to his door. As we were leaving his room, Benny (his dog) was like staring at me, not moving. Jude told me to walk and see what happen. Benny pounced on me like a mini tiger! HAHA! I got a shock of my life man! HAHA! He was just playing around with me. So adorable! Yea. Then I took the free bus home from Rivervale Mall. Yea. I LOVE JUDE!

Music: Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy.

Okay. I went to the beach with Andrew and Jude on Friday. (: Pictures courtesy of Jude's MacBook. (: Yea. Jeremy was supposed to join us but there's was some miscommunication and he ended up waiting at the bus stop and leaving. Yea. MAC BOOK ROCKS!

Music: Don't Even Miss Me by Hero Pattern.

You know what? Being Vegan is really difficult man. I can't eat a whole lotta stuff! We'll in Singapore it's really difficult. I don't know how much longer can I stay Vegan. I might become semi-vegan instead. Like I'll eat Vegan for like alternate days or something. It's really difficult. 

Anyways, Andrew, Jude and I just formed a Jam Band. We're called Deadbeat Sweetheart. Yea. Andrew on guitars, Jude on drums and me on vocals and maybe guitar. Yea. Playing acoustics songs first la... then slowly level up.  Right now, I'm coming up with like designs for the name. Band art man... 

Music: History by Funeral For A Friend.

Okay. I went to the hair dresser's today with my mum and my grandma. My grandma is the cutest thing la... She was like falling asleep when the hair dresser was doing her hair. Well I would have fallen asleep too as it was a long process. She was dying her hair and perming it so yea, it took really long. I trimmed my fringe and stuff. My mum cut her hair too. Now she looks like some emo mummy. HAHA! With bangs and such. HAHA!!!!!!! I told her to put a whole lotta eyeliner for work tomorrow. It would so match her new bangs. Yea. Being vegan isn't really difficult. There were many alternatives for me to choose. Today we ate out since no one was home anyways. I found a Vegan meal really quite easily. Yea. (: 

Music: Holiday by Sex Pistols.

I have become a Vegan. Yea. That means no MEAT, no MILK, no CHEESE, no ANIMAL PRODUCTS. EVER. It's a huge step for me but I'm willing to take on being a Vegan. I wanna make a difference in the world. Stop animal cruelty. Yea. You guys might say "Hey, chickens/cows/sheep are bred especially for us humans for food and other stuff like leather." Do you know the reason why a cow produce milk is so that it could feed its calf and not to feed us. At some farms, the calf is separated its mum shortly after birth and is enclosed in a tiny cage where it can't even stand or turn around with ease. Some of them never learn to walk. The mother cow is then milked dry. Imagine drinking milk from some stranger woman's breasts. I wouldn't wanna do that so why should I do that to a cow just because it's an animal? Fur. FUR IS DEAD. And so are the animals which provide us with it. People like J.LO and Beyoncé has like fur coats made out of 100 chinchillas and other furry animals. Imagine wearing human skin as a coat. Sick right?

So what gives us the right to take of the skin of the animals just for GLAM and shit like that? Some will say "Hey, you ate lots of meat before you became vegan anyway. Why stop now?" Well at least I can start saving as many animals as I can from now onwards. Yea. There really isn't a need for us to eat meat. There are so many substitutes for protein like in Tofu. And for iron, there's dark green leafy vegetables. It's gonna take a lot of getting used to but I'm willing to put in my effort. And as for Ice-cream, there's Sorbet. Yep. Being Vegan is healthy anyways, so what's the harm? You're saving yourself and saving many animals at the same time. (: After I found out what KFC does to their chickens, I feel that they're more like Kentucky Fried Cruelty. Yea. I swear never to walk into that place ever again. You guys can go ahead. I'm staying out. My dad is totally against the idea of me becoming Vegan. To bad, I'm gonna rise against his idea of eating meat. There are gonna be a lot of people being really critical about this, but I'm gonna stand strong for the animals. You can still eat meat if you want, I'll still be your friend. It's not like I'm TRYING to change everyone into a freaking Vegan. Yea. Do what you want. It's your life. 

Music: Chapter Four by Avenged Sevenfold.

Okay. I've got some eating disorder shit going on. I have no idea what you call it but yea. I don't have the appetite to eat since like 3 weeks ago. I haven't really ate since. Yea. It's not that I don;t get hungry or anything but it's just that I really don't feel like eating. Today, I was so hungry, so I ate chicken rice for lunch. It didn't fill me for long because I puked it all out. Yea. It's not the first time. It's not like I stuff my fingers down my throat to make myself puke, it just came out. It happened with my char kway teow the other time too. I have no idea what kind of an eating disorder this is man... If I eat anything, I'll probably puke it back out. I guess I'll have to drink Vitamin Water to get the minerals in my system. I'm totally fine with my body. So I guess I'm not anorexic. I don't binge then hurl on purpose, so I guess I'm not bulimic. 

WHATEVER... I'm still living. I won't die from it... I hope... 

Music: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.

I just came back from the airport. I went to pick my Grandma up. She came from Hong Kong. Yep. And along with her came along my new companion... MY BOSE HEADPHONES!!! HOLY CRAP! I HAVE BOSE HEADPHONES!!! It's the noise canceling kind. It's really awesome man!! It's so comfortable and everything man!

BE VERY JEALOUS!

I'm looking forward to spending time with my Grandma. Yep. We shall go do our hair together! (: Okay, right now it's like 2 something, and tomorrow I've gotta wake up for my dental appointment. So I'm gonna go sleep now. (: GOODNIGHT PEOPLE! BE VERY JEALOUS OF MY BRAND NEW BOSE HEADPHONES! I want the sound system in my room. HAHA! Wishful thinking. 

Music: In Regards To Myself by UnderØath. (They sound really awesome on my NEW BOSE HEADPHONES!!!) 

I really want Taking Back Sunday to come down to Singapore man... Well if I had the money , I wouldn't wait. Instead I'd travel  to where ever they are to watch their shows man. It's quite sad that Fred's no longer in TBS. Yea. Adam Lazzara is on the top of my Interesting People list. He is just so... Interesting and special. HAHA! Yea. Right now, they are like quite mainstream... All because of MakeDamnSure on MTV. Yea. Well they have to make a living too you know. No offence, I mean I love them to bits, but in this mainstream world, they were kinda like one hit wonders. Yea. To me, they are already legends. Stay in the underground scene... We love you more than the mainstream bastards. 

Music: You're So Last Summer by Taking Back Sunday.

The Wonders Of Mac!

I would like to thank God for returning Jude back to me after like 11 days. Yea. I finally met him today. Yep. I missed him so much. I'm just happy to see him again. I should be mad, but why waste time being mad at him when I know everything will be okay anyways. Yep. Met him at the bus stop. The one after the TPE and before the St Anne's bus stop. Yea. He was actually real! I was starting to think that he was in my dreams for the past 3 years. HAHA! Then we took 88 to Hougang to meet Jeremy. Yep. The contact lens place thingy was closed so we went to Compass for lunch. I didn't eat. Yep. I haven't got appetite. Yea. I have no idea why. Recently I haven't been eating. My brother says that I'm suffering from an eating disorder. Yea, like that will ever happen in a million years. I love the taste of so many different types of food man. Okay, I'm totally digressing. Back on track. Yep. After lunch, we went to Ikea. Yep. Walked around. Nothing much really... I should probably get a bunk bed. You know the kind with no bed underneath?? Yea. Then I can have like a Sofa bed or something below and I'll sleep up. It's kinda a hassle though if you're really tired. Jude bought two block candles and one ball-shaped candle and an Ikea paper bag. After that we went to Jude's place. Watch Another Gay Movie. I swear! That movie is SUPER RA MAN! The whole movie is like really gay. That's not the problem. It was DICKS and ASSHOLES EVERYWHERE! So I kinda asked if we could switch to another movie. And yea. We watched Juno instead. But like after the first part, we stopped it and played Halo 2 instead. I got trashed by Jeremy on the Versus mode. Yea. I suck at 3-D shooting games. It makes me really really dizzy. I felt like hurling. So I kinda shut my eyes and curled up on Jude's bed. Yea. Then, it was 10.30pm! I told my dad that I would be back by 10pm and I'm like fucking late... Yea. So Jeremy and I left Jude's place. We walked really fast to the bus stop. I have no idea why we walked so fast but yea. HAHA! Jeremy had to run for the bus. I continued walking across the TPE bridge. Yep. Got home but didn't get in trouble. Dad was already sleeping, mum wasn't that much of a hassle. Yea. The day wasn't brilliant but I'm just really glad that Jude's real and that I met him today and hugged him and smelt him and hold his hand and yea.... You get the picture. But I was quite upset about something he did to himself though. I hate it when someone I love hurt themselves on purpose. Yea. It totally breaks my heart to see the wound. Yea. Most of the time I really want to know why, but I'll just let them have the choice to do what they want. Yea. It hurts me, yea it hurts me a lot, but what can I do? It's their lives. There's only so much I can do. 

Music: If I Were To Write The Song by Cartel.

OMG! I was video hopping on YouTube and I came across this song from Lifehouse that I heard on a plane to Orlando, USA when I was in Primary 5! I LOVED IT EVER SINCE and it just reminded me of how I got to know about the band. LOL! 

And lucky for me, I have the song in my iTunes!!! (: NOW I SHALL GET ADDICTED!

Music: Breathing by Lifehouse.

I'm having ear worms.... Like there's these two songs that are like stuck in my head. And it keeps playing over and over again in my ears. Yea. The first one is Water's Edge by 1997. That song is AWESOME! I LOVE THAT SONG! It's really nice, and quite sad at the same time. The lines that are particularly stuck in my head are " Troubled Boy,/ I'll kiss you one last time/ and then say goodnight forever./ But Little Girl/ I'm not feeling well/ These nights are long and rough/ without you." Yea. It's like so sweet and so sad...

Here's the song. 

 

The next song is Sink, Florida Sink by Against Me!. Yep. It's a really nice song. I've been listening

to it for like forever. When you have a whole lotta songs in your iTunes, you'll kinda forget what

you use to listen to all the time until you put the whole iTunes on shuffle and it plays the song that

you've kinda forgot. (: I'm glad my iTunes played it again. I LOVE IT.

Okay. The person who made this video spelt it wrongly. HAHAH! But it's the only one where you

here the song properly. Yep.

I hope that you guys like the songs... (:

Music: Water's Edge by 1997.

OLD PICTURES UNCOVERED! OH THE FAME AND THE SHAME!

THE ANDREA

 PICTURES.


Love In Transition.

Okay. The internet is really fucked up. SOOOO... I'll post some more when it's not so fucked up. YEP! 

I woke up really late today. I woke up at 3pm... Yep. I waited for Jude to call me back last night like until 3 something. Then I got really sleepy, so I just slept. Yea. Then when I woke up, I recorded myself playing Anyone Else But You on my guitar. Like straight away after I woke up. HAHA! I had no idea why but yea. Here's the video. Okay. Wait. I don't wanna post my video! I look HIDEOUS! I just woke up with really puffy eyes and hair going hay-wire.... 

 

Yea. The video's retarded. I'm in my friggen' Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs PJ. HAHA! I love that song a lot. HAHA! It's so cute. 

Yea anyways, I stayed home the whole day today, waiting for Jude to come online. It's the only way that I can get him right now because his prepaid card shit is low on credit, my phone is fucked up so I don't have his house number. Yea. I have no idea how other people contact him man. It's always the situation where everyone else but me is able to get him. WTF. That's all I gotta say about that. WTF. I'm actually quite mad at him... but everytime I get him someway or another, I never wanna say anything about me being mad at him. Why? I don't wanna screw up the time that I actually get to talk to him or something. Yea. I just want to hear his voice. Yea. I'm tormenting myself. I feel that it's worth bottling up, I have no idea why. When I find the answer, I will know...

Music: Find A Way by The Used.

Okay. I can't help but post one more post because I was just at UnderØath's official website and was looking through their concert photos, and you know how some people will reply to other's comments and stuff right? (I'm like that...) So there was this guy called kristians bleidel who wrote " why UNDEROATH screaming God dont like screaming" HAHA! It's already quite funny itself but this other guy, Rusty_D, replied " Why wouldn't God love screaming? The bible does say " Shout to the Lord..." and Spencer does a heavier version of shouting by screaming." HAHAHA! It's so HILARIOUS! Well to me... A lot of people don't find what I find funny, funny. I don't care. I find it funny. 

SCREAM ON SPENCER!